D-Now

This weekend we were able to put on the first Disciple Now at our church.  The weekend was filled with worship and great preaching and lots of fun!  We rented out a place to sleep with showers and a gym and then during the days we were at the church or out in the community.  We helped out at Habitat for Humanity, Caritas and then also did a few treasure hunts in the community.  It was such a special weekend and I know this will be the first of many more to come!

One Word revelations

The last month has brought about a lot of insight on my one word; legacy. Almost all of my pastor's sermons have spoken to me concerning this. The first one was so closly related that I was tempted to ask him if he had been reading my blog, lol, but I knew he hadn't and it was Holy Spirit making things crystal clear. 

Through several of his sermons and Bible verses and different songs on the radio I have learned a whole new meaning of the word redeemed. I have always looked at it as an eternal life thing...I've been redeemed through Christ so I will spend eternity in Heaven with Him, but He is shifting my thinking deeper.  Although being redeemed for Heaven is awesome, He has also redeemed us for our time here on earth.  He steps in every time I fail and redeems it for His glory, not just at the end of my life, but every. single. day!!  If my heart is turned towards Him then our desires are the same and He wants good in my children even more than I do and He redeems where I fall short!!  That is so freeing, because I can't do it perfect, but He can through me, if I let Him.  

The song 'I am redeemed' by Big Daddy Weave is so good, but one particular line stuck out this month. I've listened to this song a thousand times, but this time I really heard the line 'stop fighting a fight that's already been won.'  My desire is His desire and I can't mess up God's plan, so it's time I started walking in that victory instead of continually praying for it.

In learning all this, I've noticed that my desire to leave something good to the kids has become somewhat of a distraction. As I've let go and trusted Him in this area I have been free for Him to do amazing things in other areas. I have had some crazy dreams and visions over the last month. I have never been one to experience this, but as I have started pursing Holy Spirit these have increased and in them I've been able to bless others and also increase my faith as I am experiencing a whole new dimension of Him. It's been an eye opening month and I'm anticipating the following 11 to be just as exciting!

Red Solo Cup

was the theme for Sonja's birthday party tonight. 

Everything was red Solo cups, right down to my mom's esr rings!

We had brats, baked beans and potatoe salad with red velvet cupcakes for dessert. 

Troy worked really hard on his gift to Sonja. He painted a picture if her dog, Lucy. Her reaction was great! 

It's always nice to get out of town and hang out with family, even if it was only for a few hours!

A little anxious for spring

The last several weeks have been cold, grey and dreary. Today it hit 70 and we fired up the grill for burgers! Lol! Roy and Lynette have Richard's brother's girls so they all came over to eat and ride go-carts. It was such a great evening and makes me really look forward to warmer weather! 

We wore them out!!

Our bi-annual get together

I was looking through some of my old scrapbooks and noticed that the summertime and Christmas break are the only times Tanna, Laura and I consistently get together. I wish it were more regularly, but I am so thankful for these times!! Tanna and Laura were so brave to make the trip to see my new house with all 5 of their kids. They were packed in between car seats, boosters and diaper bags! The kids immediately disappeared to play and we were able to enjoy a wonderful few hours just visiting. 

I love these girls so much and love that we are all moms together...which seems crazy because it's like we are 18 all over again when we get together. 

All the kids are getting so big and played so well together and then after lunch it turned into boys playing cars and girls getting make up and nails done by Baylee.

It was a wonderful afternoon that ended way too soon!  Summertime can't come fast enough!

My 2015 word

I hadn't planned on doing a word for this year, but several people have asked about it, so I am taking that as a push from above to write this post. I pray it will be used for His glory. 

For 2014, my word was legacy, and to be honest, I feel like I failed at that word...hence the reason I was not going to do a word this year.  

Being a step mom is hard. There are so many dynamics that I am clueless about and have no one around me that has navigated through it all to give advice.  I'm learning my goals and expectations might be unrealistic and at the end of the day all I can really rely on is God.  

I'm not really sure how to even put it into words, so forgive me if this post is all over the place!  A few months ago my pastor did a sermon on being offended. He asked us to search our hearts and see in what ways we were being offended and He highlighted my interactions in my home.  The definition of offense is resentment brought about by a disregard for one's standards.  For some reason, I find myself getting more offended when my step children disregard the rules in our home. All five kids display normal behavior for their age and not one of the five is perfect, but I found my resentment growing.  How do I leave a legacy when I am struggling with resentment? 

I am non-confrontational by nature, so I rarely correct or confront my step children, which blows my mind because I have no problem correcting my own two or the 22 little ones in my class, but for some reason, I don't. The only thing I can come up with is that Richard and I dated for so long that by the time I was put into step mother role, my habits of staying out of it were set. And so because I don't say anything in the moment, I end up stewing about what I should have said or done.  In the sermon on offense, one thing our pastor pointed out is that becoming offended, in any situation, is a distraction.  How am I supposed to love like Christ if I'm offended all the time?  So, I have been working on this. 

Also, I have been reading a book about Holy Spirit and was convicted that in keeping quiet in those moments I am grieving Him. How can Holy Spirit work through me if I won't even speak! I have access to His power and choose not to tap into it?!? Uugghhh! It's so frustrating to me because I don't want to be this way!  

For about six weeks, I have been seeking Him more earnestly every morning and truly just asking for His power for that one day. When I lay down at night I am starting to feel like I am making progress, and I know that I must get up and seek Him again in the morning to get the power I need to be who I am created to be but am not...yet.

It's a journey, and my perfectionist nature hates that it's a journey, but I am being made new and that's exciting.  I pray the kids will not remember my mistakes but that God will chisel on their hearts and minds the times I succeeded through Him. 

So, I am extending my word legacy for another year, in hopes that I will daily be filled with Him in order to leave something good in all my children.

Ringing in 2015

Another year at the Fireworks store. The kids are all at great ages to help out or keep themselves occupied for the long day of New Year's Eve. Troy was my bagger for awhile and did really well!

Baylee and Koby both brought friends and they all worked the floor.

The little ones brought video games and Christmas presents to play with and even found creative places to stay out of the way.

 By midnight, we had all worked 12 hours and were ready to ring in 2015 with sparkling grape juice and noise makers!

Happy New Year!

One last Christmas

My family came into town to celebrate Christmas with the kids. Blake and Amber hadn't seen the house ether, so they got the grand tour. Then it was on to presents! I think Snicker was trying to hide from all the commotion! 

Blake was in on our large gift for the kids, so we had them open his gifts first.  He got them all helmets, gloves and goggles. He told them it was so they were all safe on the 4 wheeler. I figured one of them would ask if they were for something else, but they didn't.

So, we had to encourage then to go out to the shop to show Blake the 4 wheeler. 

Even then they were a little confused. I think one of them asked why there were go carts in our shop! Lol!

When it finally clicked that these were theirs they got excited and jumped in ready to ride! I guess we did good keeping the secret!

The rest of the afternoon everyone was riding or driving something!  

I think Blake was having the most fun of all. I'm glad he was here for the reveal and for the fun afterwards. You can't beat an uncle who rides go carts with you all day!

Finally, at about 5:30, the cold brought everyone in for hot chocolate and the rest of the gifts. After 3 Christmases, I'd say they have more than enough to play with for awhile!