God is BIG

There have only been a handful of times that I can remember feeling how BIG God is in my life. That He really does have a plan bigger than just me. That He really does know what He is doing, even if I have no clue. He is big and when I come face to face with that it blows me away.

A few weeks ago I met a woman at the dental office. She was the hygienist that was cleaning Troy’s teeth. I had both Troy and Teague with me at the time and her first question was “Do boys ever slow down?” I replied, “no” and we began talking about our kids. Slowly the conversation turned to our significant others and I learned that she and her boyfriend had both lost their spouses too early. I mentioned Richard’s name and she mentioned her late spouses name to see if we have a connection there, but neither names rung a bell. I then told her Richard’s late wife’s name, Bridgette, and she was amazed that she did know her. She said that she had worked on her teeth awhile back and said that she was so kind and compassionate and that she had offered to pray for her, which I have no doubt she did. That one connection opened up a flood of conversation between the two of us and we have now started a friendship. I know God had His hand in our meeting because that hygienist does not even work at that dental office and was called in that morning for another employee who couldn’t make it. God knew we were going to meet that day!

Also, what I had not expected in meeting my new friend was how God is showing me how connected Bridgette and I really are. Before I even met Richard face to face I knew he was a widower and I prayed hard that I would be able to date someone who had lost their spouse. I knew choosing to be with a widower would come with a whole host of struggles and I have prayed God will walk me through those. One is insecurity. Bridgette will always be remembered as perfect, as she should be, but I have to remind myself often, that I am not perfect and that is okay. Another is comparison. Richard and the kids have never compared me to her that I know of but I find myself comparing myself to her, and again, I have to remind myself, we are different and that is okay. I know God is helping me work through all of it and this situation was one of the ways I see Him working. God is showing me that it is not a comparison; whether in our love or our abilities, but rather a partnership. I love that God is using me in conjunction with what Bridgette did here on earth. I get to finish raising her 3 beautiful children that she bore, I get to love and support the man that she loved and supported at one time and I get to continue in the ministry she began in this hygienist I met at the dental office. God is so much bigger than I choose to remember most of the time, and He does know what He is doing ALL the time. I truly believe this is how Heaven will be; believers loving God and doing His will to bring glory to Him, and I look forward to meeting Bridgette face to face and praising God together.