Sunday, February 28, 2010


I read alot out of the book of Proverbs. It has many verses on just daily living that I really enjoy. My favorite chapter however is Proverbs 31. I have always wanted to be a Proverbs 31 woman. The whole chapter talks about her role as a woman, wife and mother and how in each role she is outstanding and hard working. My favorite verse is Proverbs 31:28-29 "Her children praise her and with great pride her husband says, "There are many good women, but you are the best!"" I have met many Proverbs 31 women. I can spot them by the way their husbands look at them; such affection, appreciation, respect. I have always wanted Daniel to look at me that way. Oh, he was appreciative and respectful but his gaze was different than that of the men that look upon their wives as Proverbs 31 women. I realize marriage and life and spirituality is a journey so I started to pray that I would become that woman and to one day earn that kind of a gaze.

There is also another woman described in Proverbs. I will call her the Proverbs 5 woman. Have you ever read it? If not, I encourage you to stop and read it now. What a drastic difference!!

Over the last few months I have encountered many situations like mine or similar to mine from women close to me. Each time I hear another story, I feel angry. Since when is a wedding ring an invitation for a come-on? When did being a married man become "sexy"? Why does a single woman think she has ANY business contacting a married man at all? I am angry that women would do this to one another, angry that the Proverbs 5 woman even exists, and angry that Satan knows just how to use her. It's crazy to me that the Bible was written so many years ago but that the character of the Proverbs 5 woman was included, and since ALL the Bible is 100% true, I can stand firm in the fact that chapter 5 is truth. Somehow that gives me peace.

So to all the Proverbs 31 women out there, let me share something that I found liberating. In my readings I came across a chapter called 'The God who reclaims the sacred.' It talks of satan entering into sacred places, holy institutions. And you know his number one place of destruction is holy matrimony. We give vows, make promises, not only to one another but also to God and I'm sure satan has a smirk on his face just waiting to make a mess of something we treasure so deeply. But Jesus reclaims the holy. He will not sit silent long while satan rips the sacred. At the perfect moment Jesus will stand and speak and when He does, satan will stumble and fall silent. Just read the story about what happened in Gethsemane. (John 18) When Jesus speaks, satan falls. Take heart in knowing that Jesus will reclaim the holy. It might not look exactly how we thought it would, but Jesus will not fail us. I encourage all the Proverbs 31 women in my similar situation to cling to Jesus and leave the results up to Him.

Friday, February 26, 2010

God always provides

The last week has been difficult. My thoughts have been occupied with many changes and decisions going on, as well as finalizing the paperwork for a divorce I don't want to occur. On top of all that, our household has been under the weather. It was only for a couple of days so I am assuming it was the dreaded 24 hour bug that has been going around. In my morning prayers I asked for strength to be able to get through the day feeling awful while caring for two others who feel awful as well. I picked up my "Letters to My Princess Bride' book and here is what I read...

My Princess Bride,
I want you to celebrate life with Me. There are so many amazing things we have to look forward to, so don't let this world keep you from celebrating who you are and the wonderful things to come, My beloved. The things that seem sorrowful now will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forever! So stop for a moment. Do something to celebrate the love relationship we have together. Imagine our great and glorious wedding day, and as you do, let your heart bask in the beauty to come.
You Prince and Joy

After reading this I knew not only would He get me through the day somehow, but that I need to remember that His plans for me and my future are amazing!! I wanted this year to be one of abundant faith, and the last week I have not had this. This letter was just what I needed to hear to get back on track.

So here is where my Husband surprised me. At about 1:30pm my friend Jenny called to see if I was home because she was coming by to drop something off from her Front Porch. (we call our small groups at church Front Porches) So I told her to come on by! I was blown away when she brought over a basket filled with ALL the necessities for being sick. I felt so loved by my friends!! I also felt taken care of by God. "In sickness and in health" are the words I heard Him whisper to me. What an amazing Man that I am in love with!!

Do you notice something else that is included in the basket??? A purple orchid! I don't know if they knew purple flowers are my favorite, but God does! :)

Thursday, February 25, 2010


It's crazy that we were enjoying dinner on the grill Sunday and then having snow ball fights on Tuesday! Here are some of our activities!!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Guilt vs. Regret

I have been thinking alot about the difference in guilt and regret and here is what I have come up with...

Guilt is knowing you are doing something not God honoring, where regret, a step further, is having participated in the less than God honoring activity and wishing you could change the outcome.

Both are used by the Holy Spirit to change our direction, but both are also used by the devil to hold us captive. Max Lucado says "Guilt is a healthy regret for telling God one thing and doing another. To feel guilt is not a tragedy, but to feel no guilt is!!" Wow, how true. That still, small voice is a great feeling if you respond to it, but if you don't, you are setting yourself up for trouble. I love the example Lucado uses with the apostle, Peter.

"Luke tells us that Peter followed Jesus from a distance. Not too close, yet not too far. The disciples chose the left side of the road and ran. Jesus chose the right side of the road and obeyed. But Peter chose the yellow stipe down the middle. BIG mistake. He would have been better off in the shadows with the disciples. He would have been better off in the courtyard with his master. But instead Peter is warming his hands on the devil's hearth.
With each denial Peter inches closer to the edge of the canyon...until the ground gives way and he falls. Have you been there? Have you felt the ground of conviction give way beneath your feet? The ledge crumbles, your eyes widen, and down you go. Now what do you do? You could stay in the canyon. Many do. Many live their lives in the shadows. Many never return. Some dismiss their deeds. "Well, everyone has a little slip now and then." Some deny their deeds. "Fall? Me? Are you kidding? These aren't bruises. These aren't cuts. I'm as healthy as I've ever been. Me and Jesus? We are tight.? Some distort their deeds. "I'm not to blame. It's his fault. It's society's responsibility. If the people hadn't asked me, I wouldn't have answered. Don't point the finger at me." When we fall, we can dismiss it, deny it, distort it, or we can deal with it. Luke adds a chilling phrase to his account of Peter's denial of Christ. When the cock crowed, "the Lord turned and looked straight at Peter." (Luke 22:61)"

I can't imagine Peter's guilt at that moment. To look right into Jesus' eyes and know He knows. To know that you let Him down. I've been there too many times, but luckily I've never physically had to look God in the eye, that would be unbearable I think.

As Peter met Jesus' eyes he left and cried painfully. Here is his confession, every tear a cry out for God to forgive and restore. But what if Peter didn't confess, he would have missed what God had intended for his life. Think how many lives would have gone untouched.

We all find ourselves in canyons at times. I think we have two choices, first, let God pull us out and, through His grace, use us to minister to others through the pain that we encountered there, or second, we can stay in the canyon and live a life full of regret.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010


It was Girl's Night Out this Monday and we had a blast, like always. We have a place in town that has Monday Night Martini's, Manicures, and Appetizers. It was alot of fun to hang out with the girls and laugh until your stomach and cheeks hurt! Thanks girls!!!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

According to Him

Have you ever listened to a song through "redeemed ears?" I have heard the song 'According to you' before, but never how I heard it this morning. Through redeemed ears I heard Him reminding me of my worth through His eyes and to not let the lies of the enemy penetrate my heart. I love when He speaks to me in new ways, and especially when He tells me I'm beautiful! :) I have put the song on my play list, so enjoy the lyrics in a new way!

Monday, February 08, 2010

Super Bowl Party

My church hosted a Super Bowl Party again this year with a Chili cook off and a dessert bake off. Graffiti (the youth group I lead) wanted to enter into the bake off so they voted on a cake a few Sundays back. I brought what I baked that morning and they iced it and added the letters. It didn't win, but it was a great bonding experience. When we began teaching the youth 2 years ago we averaged 7-8 kids, now I am up to 30+. It's amazing what God is doing with those kids, and I am honored to be apart of it.

Oh and here is Teague's faux hawk! He is so handsome!!

Saturday, February 06, 2010


After thinking about my last post I had an addendum to my thoughts. My last line said that God waits, just as I do. This is untrue.

God pursues.

I am reading a book by Max Lucado called 'A Gentle Thunder' and God showed me He is not idle in my situation, even though I feel like I am. Here is what Lucado writes,
"God will whisper. He will shout. He will touch and tug. He will take away our burdens; He'll even take away our blessings. If there are a thousand steps between us and Him, He will take all but one. But He will leave the final one for us. The choice is ours. Please understand, His goal is not to make you happy, but to make you His.
Consider these verses in John 1:38-43
Jesus turned...
Jesus asked...
Jesus answered...
Jesus looked...
Jesus decided...
Jesus found...
It's clear who does all the work. He may use a sermon or a conversation or a song, but it is He who calls us."

Wow, a God that runs after us all the time, even when we turn from Him over and over and over. His love for us is so great and I am so thankful that He doesn't sit and wait, but rather uses whatever means necessary to get our attention and bring us back to Him.

Thursday, February 04, 2010


I have days where my mind races. Alot of questions, none with real answers, and everyone of them points back to God. My most recent round of questions started like this...
"Why does this hurt so bad? When will it stop hurting? If my complete trust is in God should this be hurting at all? Will God do the one thing that I want so that I will stop hurting?"

I then hear from Him, "I am hurting too."

It never occurred to me that the decision that was imparted on me, was also imparted on God. I know the Bible talks about being a lukewarm Christian and how this angers God.

Revelation 3:16
"So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth."

But what about turning completely away from Him? Many days I feel Him empathizing with me in the way that He is being rejected too, and not just currently, in my own situation, but by many today and many in the past and future. I know He desperately wants those relationships with Him repaired.

Does God cry?

I know God is God and can do anything, but at the same time in His true love for us He gave us volition, a choice, our choice. He will not force Himself on anyone, as He is a Gentleman. I bet His heart aches much more than mine. So the answer to the question "Will God do the one thing that I want so that I will stop hurting?" is, it's not up to God. He sits and waits just as I do.


Here is Troy and his latest "dance" to his favorite song, the opening of Go Diego Go. He is pretty acrobatic!!