Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Monday, June 21, 2010

The problem with planning

I am a planner. I love having a schedule and a timeline and keeping a calandar. Maybe it's because I enjoy having things to look forward to or maybe it's just because I like to have control. But I've once heard, "The greatest illusion is the illusion of control."

It's been almost a year since my life was turned upside down. The whole ordeal was especially hard because I had absolutely no control in any respect, but now that it's over I thought I would gain some control back. I would be in charge of me and the boys, my job, my home, my ministry; everything would be "under control", and then I could start to think about dating. Wow... dating!! That's a scary word to type, much less say. I never thought I would be here, but here I am so I will plan, because that's what I do. I thought about a timeline; when's the "proper" time to start dating? I thought about my reputation; what will people think of me for dating at all? I thought about the boys; when is the right time to introduce them to someone I am dating? All these thoughts lead to plans and schedules and... safety.

I started off 2010 wanting to live in God's abundance; feel free to go back and read that blog. And once again, I am putting God in a box with my timelines and schedules. I know He is the Author, but for some reason I feel the need to continually pull the pen out of His hands and want to write my own version of "life". Just a 30 year habit I am going to have to continue to make an effort to break, I guess. He has been faithful to close doors and open doors at the right time, even when I am screaming at Him that He doesn't know what He is doing. And now, as I start to think about dating, I find a door opening that doesn't quite fit the mold I had or the timeline I hold.

This wasn't in my plans.

So, do I hold fast to my schedule and possibly miss something great, or do I let go and let God?

Sunday, June 20, 2010


I was able to go on a girls trip this weekend. The main event was to see the show Wicked, but we also did alot of relaxing and alot of much needed girl talk! I am so glad I have girlfriends that are so down to earth, honest and fun to be around. I can't wait until our next trip!

Right outside our hotel

Melinda, Becca, me and Lisa at the pool

At the show

Melinda doesn't like to eat salt because it makes her puffy, so we made her a no puff zone with her own basket of chips with no salt.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Troy swimming

Troy is now swimming, jumping in and going under and doing hand stands under water. What a complete change in him since swim lessons. That really was money well spent!!

Friday, June 11, 2010


This week Troy took swim lessons for the first time. Through several recommendations I signed him up and Monday we both were a little nervous. The instructor teaches from her home by age and with only 5 kids per class. The parents are not allowed to stay, but there are some hedges to stand behind and watch the kids. The very first day she had them jumping in from the side. She would let them go under, but just for a moment, and then help them kick back towards the side. There were tears by all, but by the end of class they are all fine and Troy has really enjoyed it.

Also this week, Tanna came in town to go to the Splash Pool with us. Brylee, Troy and Teague were quite a team, and quite a handful. We didn't have much time for visiting if all three of them were awake, but it was fun to watch them all interact together. At the Splash Pool Troy wanted to show me what he learned from swim lessons and I was surprised that he went completely under water and then popped back up, wiped his face and just smiled and said "see!" He was so proud of himself and showed me and Tanna and the lifeguard and any other mom that walked by. I am hoping to get some more of him swimming on video at the last swim lesson today, if so, I will post it later, but here he is going under water.

They are quite a pair!!